My soul was on fire. Photos with Laura and Corey. A conversation with her high school theatre teacher. A friend to live it all through, someone for the ages.
We walked out of the Jacobs all ready to leave. Still in awe, the crisp New York air filled my lungs as I stepped out. We walked side by side, just thankful to even be here amidst the towering buildings, a coordinate within the city’s grid system. Opposite, Dear Evan Hansen and Great Comet; down the street, Waitress and along 7th, Times.
Mesmerized by the on-stage love of Julia and Danny, I walked… just thankful.
The security laid out the metal barricades and across the street I could hear shouts of “Josh! Josh!!” and “Ben!”. Who knew I’d meet Ben just days later? A reminder for patience, I would failed to heed over and over again. E noticed fans gathering at the barricades and we both just knew what we had to do. Fans I may have known from a Tumblr click or two, just metres away from me. And then there they were.
We wandered the streets, a million directions it seemed like we could head toward, blocks and blocks we could walk. Pizza for a dollar, Auntie Anne’s banter. NBA Conference Finals only a coast away, yet the east was all that seemed to matter. Didn’t seem to feel like I was there for a wedding, and that was the first time I wished I wasn’t. The feeling of want for time was back following me
The CityPasses we had were due to expire and there seemed like there was no better a night to go visit the Empire. And indeed there wasn’t. Around us, night crept deeper but the cacophony seemed to never settle: sounds, lights, people.
As we rode up the escalator to the top, my heart nagged at me, wondering why this moment couldn’t last. Looking down at the city later, washed in a glow of enigma that would fascinate me till this day, matched only by a cousin up North, I knew that there was something missing but I wasn’t simply going to find it just like there. I had to keep searching but also had to learn to be happy just being.
Things would change quick soon after I took that United 1 flight back but something clicked: the life I wanted to see could take root back home. And I owe it to the people here to make that a reality. I’d like to think I’m an Arrow of sorts, doing something for his city; but this city deserves better, everyone in this city deserves so much more.
I would forget this again until, by the grace of God, I would find myself in Logan. I live and breathe this now, and won’t stop till I get there.
But back to that night at the observation deck, as the magic filled our lungs, I just smiled. Not everything was about the bright lights and big city, but boy how good it feels when everything aligns right.
Boy how good it feels when you feel so big even when you’re so small.
Boy how good it feels when that rush of fire takes over.
Boy how good it feels when you just let it be.
this might make no sense but it is what it is – a stream of consciousness. << i’ve made mistakes but i’m coming home and i hope to make you proud. >>