it’s been a while since i’ve felt like this. this stinging pain of being lonely. alone i can take when i can live with myself.
but lonely. i can’t… it hurts. it hurts so much and i don’t even know what i can do.
it’s just so tough. and it hurts. it hurts real bad.
does anyone know that?
i don’t know.
rather no one could be bothered right?
how long more can you not run before you suffocate
I like being alone… but I don’t want to.
And boy do I feel alone… and that is leading to all sorts of bad associated emotions: anger, detachment, emptiness…
Did I make the right choice?
Hang on I shall.
Everyone’s departure is bringing me a sense of sadness and my best friend hasn’t even gone yet, how am I to cope with this… and with the evil rage that doesn’t want to simmer down?
And the entry wound is from your goodbye. I mean really, you’re not even mine to miss.
Never thought I’d say this but for the first time in ever, I feel just so exhausted putting everyone first only to be left as everyone’s second choice, a mere option. Just sometimes it’d be nice to know you’re… valued I guess?
Maybe it’s just the mental fatigue getting to me, distorting things.
I’m not sure. But whatever it is I hope it passes soon and that I can learn to love unconditionally once again.
Second birthday in a row that I’m reminded just how much I screwed up because of one misunderstanding // I’m so sorry, Sudesna. // I’m so sorry, Pratyay.
Disintegration, destruction and damnation
Little by little, there’ll be naught left except for these tears
Which once represented hope
But even tear wells run dry too.
So I took the bus almost to the end of it’s route today all because it was too “crowded” at my stop I couldn’t muster the courage to let the words “Excuse me” out to the people in front me.
It’s getting worse.
And I don’t know what to do.