waking up slow.

I should be writing my essay right now. But instead here I am. Because where else would I be?

Nowadays, I realize that it is the small things that crumble the shaky foundations that I have built up. I’m not anywhere near being who I want to be, and that’s fine. But it is he small, stupid mistakes – knowingly or unknowingly – that completely take the wind out of my sails of progress. I just collapse. And I don’t do what is right to resolve matters, instead just scampering around to escape when the easier – better – solution lies just there for me to take. I just hope, and hope is all I can do after a certain point in time, that things aren’t as bad as I think that they are and that that there will be a day in the future where I won’t be so affected by the slightest of problems. That I will respond better to adversity. That I will just be a better person all round.

But that day is still far as clearly evident. That said, slow and steady baby steps toward that ideal is all I need to muster for now. Just have to hang in there with whatever it is I got.

Hope may ebb and flow, but I hope it never leaves me.

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