Complexity x Civility

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In recent times I began to wonder if it’d ever be possible to have a civil conversation again. Without getting swept away by one’s emotions and personal investment in a issue – to truly argue and reason your take on it without being presumptuous that your view is the only one that is right. So correct that even engaging is off the table.

Over the past week, I’ve become convinced that that it is not only possible but can certainly become the way of life if only we started by making a conscious effort to do so. In the discussions that I had, mostly at 4-5am in the morning, there was not a sniff of condescension or disregard for another person’s view and whenever things veered off discussion on the subject matter itself on hand, it would be quickly be brought back. And whenever someone wasn’t aware of the lowdown on certain topics, there were no remarks about someone’s ignorance. Instead, what followed was a genuine desire to explain things in the most factual manner possible that would allow one to form their own take. And best of all, people didn’t attempt to cover up what they didn’t know but honestly admitted that they didn’t and sought information to fill in the gaps.

I was stunned. But more than that, I was hopeful. That if we could do this on a small scale then just as it is in computing, we can scale it up.

More often than not, we see things from a very skewed perspective because it’s the exaggeration that drives people to consume media. If everything were objectively considered, that “excitement” wouldn’t be there. Stories of gridlock, apathy, ignorance – these aren’t the mainstream. A good part of us are willing to reach out and learn, and to find that middle ground. Now that does not mean to give up your views, but rather to subject it to moulding by subjecting it to alternate views and constructive debate instead. And is that possible? It sure is. It’s easy to go extreme, to let passion consume you, but it takes a lot more courage and tenacity to go for that tempered, more assured and united approach instead.

And in it, the complexity of humanity is revealed. It’s not binary. There’s infinite shades of grey in between that all of us fit into. It’s appreciation for that individuality, and collective whole that will make us who we are.

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