the truth / ambivalence

the truth is that if i really disappeared, no one would ever really /miss/ me per se because there’s always a replacement or someone else of higher priority…

so why stay? why open up? why not just keep loving but start closing up, and slowly walk away and never really look back.

even if there isn’t anything to look forward to, but onward we must march for where else can we go? truly a start is all we ever get.

yet sometimes i hold out hope that this truth is one of those false truths, just something tormenting my heart but will eventually go away.

hope, oh hope, you funny thing.

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