It’s easy to get caught up in the minor mistakes that one makes in life, the minor mistakes that somehow add up to something monumental, when the little issues that crop up of which you had no hand in at all so unfairly adding the icing to the cake that no one wants to eat.
I’m genuinely confused how I’ve held on this long… rushes of emotion regarding you-know-who, getting angry at myself when things don’t ‘just work’, falling prey to the same old temptations, not giving as much of myself as I would want to, feeling like there’s no value in giving because it doesn’t feel valued, etc, etc etc… yet somehow I hang in there, somehow God reminds me through my ever-noisy brain that I can do this. That I can overcome whatever demon plagues me, whatever trash it throws at me in life, to rise about the fray and live a good life. And so I just continue to keep showing up.
Faith, hope, love, ever the rooted guiding principles that they have always been. It’s funny how there was once a time where I left my 7 pillars so far behind but my friends who I once shared it to, always remembered it. To you J and W, thank you.
One lesson in the Bhagvad Gita that my dad keeps reminding me of, which is the (Hinduism) religious version of Elizabeth Gilbert’s “keep showing up” is to focus on the action and not the outcome for that really isn’t in our hand eventually. Our actions influence it but the end point is always that little bit out of reach, so why worry about it… because at the end of the we all kind of have the same destination but it’s the uniqueness and distinct journey that we all take that makes it worth living through.
And so God, I promise to continue to reject all that makes life seemingly less worthwhile and to continue to grow and be someone who the people around me and Above me would be proud of. After all, we never really do it for ourselves, it’s always about them.
Here’s to the winding road, and unwinding it bit by bit, savouring everything along the way.